Mike and Shayla: Happy Birthday Mike!

The Darnedest Things

-A place to record funny or cute things our kids say-
March 2015

Conversation in the car:

Tyler: I wish I was a dad.

Mom: Why?

Tyler: Or I wish I was a mom.

Mom: Why??

Tyler: Then I would have a cup holder.

February 2014

Tyler just said, "On my next birthday, I'm gonna WHISTLE my candles out! EVERYONE would want to see THAT!" Haha, I could listen to that kid talk all day long.

December 2013

Elise on Christmas morning: "To be funny, I purposely made myself dream about sugar plums for a minute."

November 2013

James saw a large Santa decoration at the grocery store today and exclaimed, "It's Jesus!" I said, "Actually, that's Santa Claus," and he said, "No, it's Jesus."

October 2013

Every age James hits, I think, THIS is my favorite age. Lately he has been so imaginative. Every toy is something else. Sometimes he offers me "pancakes" and "cupcakes" which are whatever toy he happens to find. Other times he packs stuff up and says, "Bye Mom, see ya later, I go to the store (or preschool, or Grandpa's house)!" Or he crawls under a chair and pretends it's a car saying, "Get in the car Mommy!"

July 2013
Tyler: "One-wheelers are the hardest bikes to ride. Wait... ZERO-wheelers are the hardest bikes to ride."

April 2013
James's favorite thing lately is shoes (any shoes, any size!). Every day, first thing in the morning, he asks for his socks and shoes, and then he immediately wants to go "side?" or get in the "cah!" A month or so ago, he would call them "ock-socks" and "oo-shoes" because he couldn't seem to start words with a consonant sound. He can say socks and shoes now, but when he's really excited they are "shooies!"

February 2013
When Tyler grows up he wants to be "A dad... or a grandpa."

October 2012

Tyler woke up in the morning and came into my room all excited to tell me this: "White is the prettiest color... because you get weddings in white!"

August 2012
Tyler: I got a pock... poskisle... pocksicle... I can't SAY IT!

July 2012
I let Elise stay up after the other kids went to bed, to make cookies to surprise a friend. We were up pretty late, so I asked her if she was okay, and if she felt tired. She got a look on her face like she was trying to hide her excitement and said, "No, but I feel kind of like a grownup!"

July 2012
The kids have this long running joke of saying Mike never smiles. Tonight at dinner, Lydia asked what "nerdy" means, and Mike offered himself as an example of someone who is nerdy. And Lydia said, "So nerdy means, never smiles?"

June 2012
Tyler uses the phrase "infinity and beyond" whenever he means "a lot". Like he came into my room carrying about half a dozen grocery sacks and said "I have infinity and beyond of bags!"

June 2012
Lydia: When I was at school all the time, I thought it was boring, but now I want to go back to school because it's fun. Isn't that weird? I want to be out of school, no I want to be in school.

May 2012
After seeing the eclipse in Kanarraville, Tyler now refers to anything crescent-shaped, or overlapping circles as an eclipse (or rather, "e-aclipse"). If he takes a bite out of a cookie, he says "I made a e-aclipse!"

March 2012
Mom to Tyler: Are you going to be a dad when you grow up?
Tyler: No, I'm going to be a dinosaur. I'm going to be a nice one. I'm not going to be a small dinosaur, I'm going to be a big dinosaur. A huge dinosaur. I'm going to be a nice, huge dinosaur.

February 2012
Tyler sees everyone off with, "Bye, seeyalater, Bye!"

January 2012
Lately Tyler ends every statement with, "Riiight?"

December 2011
Tyler sings, "All I want for Christmas is my toof my teef"

November 2011
Elise said something about, "What if you were 1000 years old, and you've been dead for 900 years," and Lydia said, "After you come back alive you would be really tall. Cause you had a bunch of birthdays."

November 2011
Tyler was having a little trouble putting on his shirt, and I heard him say, "Oh! That's not a hole of heads, THIS is a hole of heads!"

October 2011
I asked Tyler what kind of birthday party he would like, and he said, "Pink!", so I asked him if he had any other ideas and he said "A tea party!"

September 2011
Tyler was not wearing a shirt, and he looked down and noticed (as if for the first time) that he has little nipples. He said, "Oh! I can feed James!"
Then when I tried to explain that only mommies can feed babies, because mommies have milk in theirs, Tyler started to cry and said, "NOOO! Put milk in MINE!"

June 2011
Tyler: Meeny miney, meeny miney, meeny miney. Catch a tiger, catch a fish, catch a lion.

June 2011
Elise: I wish I had a magic wand that could turn things into gold. I would freeze everyone in the world to gold... except Santa... and Jesus... and people I love. (Then, with a big teasing grin she says) But I would freeze you, Mom.

June 2011
Tyler: I hate big dinosaurs.
Mom: Why?
Tyler: Cause it's real and it eats me.

June 2011
Lydia: Guess what, I have a skeleton and a ghost INSIDE MY BODY! (Ooooh, so scary!)

April 2011
Tyler heard me asking Lydia to throw an old band-aid away, because old band-aids are gross.
Then Tyler said, "No, diapers gross. Poopy gross."

February 2011
Tyler was watching me make chicken enchiladas. While I was adding the shredded cheese, he began cheering me on, "Cheese! Put more in it! I like it! Cheese!"

February 2011
Lydia did a super job on her Primary talk about Heavenly Father's plan. She spoke up clearly, and didn't seem nervous. I whispered most of it in her ear, but she had practiced reciting the words to "I Am a Child of God" without any help. When she got to that part, she began to sing the words instead. It was clear and sweet, and in tune. I never want to forget it.

February 2011
Any word that begins with "f", Tyler always says with a "p" sound. When he's not eating dinner with his "pingers", he uses a spoon and "pork". He also likes to talk on the "pone", and my if something amuses him, he says "Dat's punny, Mom!"

February 2011
While watching the Super Bowl, Elise noticed that the Steelers have diamonds on their logo. She deduced that it must be because "Diamonds are probably what the Stealers like to steal."

February 2011
Tyler gave me a can of tomato paste from the pantry and said, "Present!"

February 2011
We were eating dinner, and Tyler pointed to a strip of bell pepper and asked for the "green bean". When I put it on his plate, he took it in both hands, kind of hugged it, and said, "Green bean! I love it!!"

January 2011
Lydia told me that Snow White cheers for Utah, and the witch cheers for BYU.

January 2011
Tyler calls both his sisters "Weese." When I correct him (when he really means Lydia), he says "Oh, Weeya."

January 2011
Elise (supposed to be in bed): We were just practicing Primary songs in our beds, and Lydia thought I sounded so beautiful she wants to give me a quarter and a dime. Is that okay?

December 2010
Lately, Lydia has been asking a lot of questions like "Why is it called _______?"
I think she spends a lot of time wondering things like this. Today she said, "I figured out why it's called string cheese! Because you pull it like a string, and it's cheese!" It's funny how these things seem so obvious to me, but when you're four it's like an amazing discovery.

December 2010
Lydia has seen the "Pillow Pets" commercial too many times. That is what she wants Santa to bring for Christmas, and she is always giving examples of why she wants it:
"Mom, did you know you can take Pillow Pets anywhere?"
"Mom, did you know that you can wash Pillow Pets in the washing machine?"
"Guess what, Mom. Children and grandchildren will fall in LOVE with their Pillow Pets!"

November 2010
Elise and Mike were at the Jazz game, and Lydia and I were watching it on TV. Lydia asked if we could see them, and I pointed out the upper bowl, and explained that they are too far away from the cameras for us to see them. Then she asked if they could see us. I was curious about her reasoning, so I asked how they would see us. She explained "Sometimes Dora can see me when she's on TV."

November 2010
Lydia: Columbus landed in America.
(pause)
Was it this Merica?

October 2010
Elise: I know something you could get sent to jail for. If you go into the mountains, get a poisonous snake, put fire on it, and throw it at a car.

September 2010
Lydia was telling me that wishing on a star makes dreams come true, and that Mickey Mouse really has real magic.

Then she asked me if Jesus has real magic.

May 2010

Lydia wanted Mike to play with her before bedtime. She was holding a ball, so Mike asked her if she wanted to play catch.
She said yes, but then we watched, puzzled, as she put down the ball and slowly crept over to Mike. Then she began running in tiny circles right in front of him saying, "Try to catch me, try to catch me!"
Playing catch!!

May 2010
For Family Home Evening, I didn't know what topic to teach, so I asked Elise and Lydia to think of a question they had about the gospel.

Elise's question: Is the Holy Ghost clear? (meaning transparent)

Lydia's question: Did Jesus die from drinking water? (She was a little confused about the Sacrament)

April 2010
Lydia wished on a wishbone for "lots of Tylers".

March 2010

Elise during FHE lesson: Dad, can you pause for a second while I go to the bathroom? (as if FHE was on the DVR).

March 2010

Lydia was very patiently letting me brush her hair, when all of a sudden she starts saying "Owwie-owwie-0ww!"

"Does it hurt?" I asked.

"No," she laughs, "I was just being Elise."

March 2010

Elise, sitting in church next to her aunt Dani, looks up and says "Would you happen to have a fishing pole?"

She wanted to fish a piece of paper from the pew in front of her.

December 2009

Lydia thinks the song goes:

"We Wish You Were Merry Christmas" (or maybe it's Mary Christmas?)

And Elise sings these lyrics:

"The tithings we bring,
to you and your king."

She has never heard of tidings or kin, so there is no convincing her of the correct lyrics.

Fall 2009

Elise, pointing to a mountain: Probably that was a volcano a long time ago that doesn't interrupt anymore.

Fall 2009

Elise: I didn't hit her! I was just touching her really fast!

Fall 2009

Lydia: I think my bike is running out of batteries.

Mom: Honey, bikes don't have batteries.

Lydia: But maybe you should check and see if it still has gas.

August 2009

Lydia has an imaginary friend named "Maglyn". She always says "Maglyn is my best friend," and makes pictures to give Maglyn, or talks about things they did together.

July 2009

Tyler had pulled himself up to the couch Lydia was sitting on, and Lydia was scooting herself as far back away from him as she could, screaming, "Mom! Get Tyler, he's gonna get me!"

I asked her what she thought he would do when he "got" her, and she answered, "Spit up on me!"

June 2009

Lydia: (completely straight-faced and serious) A wolf came in my room and messed up my hair while I was sleeping.

Elise: Wolves don't mess up your hair, they kill ya!

L: Oh, well a fox messed up my hair. That silly fox.

Spring 2009

Elise and Lydia like to yell: "Mastic Girls!" in kind of a Superman or Underdog kind of way. Then they do summersaults or jump off the couches like they are superheroes with Gymnastic powers - "mastic" is meant to be gymnastic, since Lydia was the one who came up with it.

May 2009

Mom: Lydia, do you need a new diaper?

Lydia: No.

M: Then why do I smell poop?

L: That's animal poop.

M: Oh, really?

L: It's from a giraffe. It's outside.

(She really did need a diaper change, but what a creative story!)

May 2009

Elise: "Dad... you're cute"

April 2009

Tyler was sitting on my lap at church, and I heard him fill his diaper. The meeting was almost over, so I was trying to decide whether to wait a couple minutes, or just be disruptive and get up to change him immediately. Well, I looked down to see a HORRIBLE blowout. I literally had a "puddle" of baby poo on my lap. Standing up was out of the question because it would have run down onto the floor. I asked Mike to hand me my purse so I could get a wipe. We looked all over, but couldn't find it. I had accidentally left it in the mothers' room earlier when I fed Ty. So we frantically started looking around for another family that might have wipes (as luck would have it, nobody near us had any). I felt bad for being so totally disruptive as well as stinking up the place! Finally my friend handed me a wipe from the family behind her, so I was able to clean the mess enough to stand up and leave. Needless to say, Tyler and I both went home for a change of clothes

April 2009

Elise was barefoot and watching a movie next to our friend Elisabeth. All of a sudden she turns to Elisabeth and says "These feet are stinky... and they don't taste that good either."

April 2009

Lydia has been potty training, and we tend to clap and cheer for her when she uses the toilet. Well today she did the same for me while I was using a public restroom (she was in the stall with me).

March 2009

Elise: I didn't have a good night's sleep. I was awake all night.

Mom: Oh really, what kept you awake?

Elise: I was thinking... about Lydia... how much I love her. (Aww, made me teary!)

March 2009

Elise was telling me that she wished she had blonde hair instead of brown. Lydia jumped in and said admiringly: "But, but, you have gold in your hair!!"

Feb 2009

(While we were looking at Alaska on a globe)

Elise: Mom, are there REALLY Alaska people?

Me: Yes, people really live there.

Elise: But are they really REAL, or just wearing costumes?

Turns out she was imagining a whole state filled with people who are like "Alaska-girl" [Elastigirl] on The Incredibles.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Happy Birthday Mike!

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Books Read in 2010

Books Read in 2009